Every Man’s Battle Workshop Testimonies

In 2012, I admitted to my wife, my parents, and to my boys that I was a sex addict. Unknown to me, my marriage would soon fall victim to a separation in 2013, and ultimately a very ugly divorce in 2014. The divorce was due to my ignorance how to help my wife heal from the crap that I had done, and like a coward, I walked away from that beautiful women and our two precious boys. Fast forward to October, 2015, I woke up to a knock on my door. It was my ex-wife and that night for the first time in many years she hugged me and told me that I was a good man, that I’d done some bad things, but God loves me and so does she-STILL! She held me that night and for the first time EVER, I felt God’s grace. I re-dedicated myself to her, to my boys, to my marriage, and to God. The last 4 months have not been perfect, but my buddy Jason, Bob, my group leader, and my EMB brothers have given me some new tools to take the fight to the enemy. . . and I’m READY! My family is worth it, I am worth it, and God is more than worth it! – Conrad

Coming to Every Man’s Battle I had different emotions that I was experiencing, but 3 that stood out were fear, shame, and guilt. I felt like a defeated man who was inadequate and worthless in the eyes of God. I came to realize that my addiction was a cry out to meet a need in an illegitimate way. It wasn’t so much a sex issue, but a sin issue. It was such relief to come face to face with other brothers who struggle with the same battle as I do. For the first time I was able to speak to men without feeling ashamed or judged. We all share a bond; we all are broken children living in grown bodies mimicking adult lives. It was a fresh reminder and very liberating to know that God knows everything and I mean EVERYTHING about me and still finds worth in me and loves me. – Victor

I can now see how my past decisions regarding my sexuality have been formulated, carried out, and become so addictive for the first time in my 60 plus years. I have organized recovery ministries for over 30 years, taught some of this material, and seen some change in those who participated, but I missed the message for myself. Never have I been to a men’s gathering that I have not been preached down to by some sterile speaker, until now. These leaders have lived out what they teach. They are walking out what they are challenging me to walk out. Their stories don’t come from what they have read, but from what they have lived! – Jim

When I came to Every Man’s Battle, my goal was primarily restoration of my marriage. After going through the weekend and realizing my need to fully confess ALL my sexual sins to my wife and others, I realize now that it’s about restoring my soul. I don’t believe my wife will be open to reconciliation after she hears everything . . . but that’s okay. I have a sense of peace about that because I have drawn my line in the sand and, through dedication and the support of my brothers, I can learn to be open and honest with myself and others. By doing so, the people closest to me will see the change—the awesome change, and I can help young men address this issue before it becomes nuclear. I hope that when my wife sees this, her heart will soften, but that’s no longer a requirement for me. I want to support her as best I can through her grieving and recovery. – Aaron

I’m 22 and I’ve never been married. I’m in a committed relationship and have seen how my sexual sin hurts my girlfriend. She has lost her trust in me. I don’t know if she can ever trust me again. At this workshop, I really have seen the effects of this issue if left unchecked. I thought that since it was normal for people my age to view porn or masturbate that it probably wasn’t a big deal. I now see the destruction it has brought in my own life and in the lives of my new brothers. I was suspending reality for so long (8 years of my young life) that I didn’t see that I don’t know how to love properly. I am so thankful for this conference and I am both afraid and excited for what lies ahead in my recovery. – Nick

As I approached the time to attend the workshop my trepidation grew. I was unsure of what to expect from the program, the leaders and other participants. Upon arrival I found 62 men in various stages of hurt and pain. Some were bent over; couldn’t stand tall. Some wouldn’t show their face. Some would not speak. As we progressed through the program the men became more confident and alive. They cried, laughed, and finally understood the “what’s” and “why’s” of their addiction. They finally had some tools to help continue their recovery. At the end of the program there were 62 new men who walked out the door thanking the Lord for the opportunity to learn and know that he is loved as a valuable human being and not some monster to be avoided. I know because I AM ONE and I now have HOPE! – Ed

I really didn’t know what to expect at the EMB workshop. I came here after hearing about the workshop on the radio one weekend while driving back home from being out of town. I was a mess struggling with a pornography addiction for over 20 years, multiple affairs, a gambling addiction all while huffing to numb my inner pain. The workshop for me was a last ditch effort to gain victory over my addictions. I felt that if this didn’t work, nothing would and I would never change knowing my eternal fate but I didn’t care. However, all that changed this weekend as God has spoken to me as I have never experienced before. It was as though the curtain had opened up and for the first time in my life, I knew the reason why I did what I did. It all started to make sense. The workshop was very humbling and pierced the very core of my soul. I could feel the overwhelming love and peace of God fill the void in my life which had been empty for as long as I can remember. I will NEVER be the same person. I know without a shadow of a doubt that God Almighty has not only forgiven me for my sins but has freed me from the chains of bondage I carried around my ankles. I understand that this is just the beginning and start to a new journey and that I will not face the enemy’s fiery darts alone. I know God has my back every step of the way along with the six other warriors I met this weekend whom I have bonded with. I love them all and will pray that they too will be successful in their journeys. Thank you New Life for this opportunity that I will also cherish as the weekend I surrendered all to God. And to God I give all the praise, honor, and glory because he is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords who never gave up on me. Amen. Thank You. – Joe P.

This battle with sexual integrity has consumed my life. Every time I have stopped to look at it, I have always focused on how it affected those around me, my wife, my kids, my church, etc. and I have always felt so alone. If there were men who would talk about it. It was a past, defeated issue they had no desire to relive enough to tell me passionately what I needed to hear.EMB has given me so much this weekend. First a secluded safe place, but not alone, with brothers fighting the same battle. It has given me room and permission to address me without being self-centered. And lastly and most importantly, it has given a brother-bond unlike any other with men who know me down deep and love me through everything I needed has been found here. Thank you so much. – Steve

My image of being a “man” was destroyed during the EMB workshop. I was exposed to true “men” who have a true and honest relationship with God, their wife, and other men of God. I have lived a life with an ever-changing wardrobe of masks that I have worn to hide behind. Removing and learning to destroy those masks so that the real man is seen and lives was the first step in recovery this weekend.  The pain to peel off those layers of separation was accepted by my Small Group with understanding and encouragement. Working each lesson both exposed and released my shame and guilt with other men. I realized I was not alone which provided me comfort. My journey starts today with a new relationship to God, other real men of God and self. I commit to being accountable in my thoughts and actions. My daily pursuit is to know God and my wife’s heart! – Joe

I have been living with my secrets for 30 plus years while failing time and again to stop and all the while them getting worse. For the first time I have learned more about why it is happening, developing an action plan to change, and creating a network of support. EMB is a game-changer for me, for my wife, and for our marriage. I have no more time to waste to become the man of integrity and redemption that I want to be. – Brad

I have been given a chance to restart my walk with Christ.  After I became a new Christian, I lived a committed life for nine years.  Then, I thought I had earned a little vacation time from being a Christian, and allowed myself to enter into sexual sin. As of today, I had never recaptured the Christian life that I had experienced that first 9 years, and my walk has been up and down for the last 38 years. I now feel confident that I can finally get control of my sexual addiction, and live out the remaining years of my life as a totally committed, obedient Christian that glorifies God. – William

I came to this workshop highly skeptical. I was almost angry and felt forced to attend in order to have any chance of going forward with my wife. As the first day went on I found that every man in my group was struggling with the same things I was experiencing. It provided me an opportunity to share like never before. I now understand what I have done to my wife, to her trust, to her self-esteem and to her image of me. I now have the tools to work toward improving. I have the network of support to encourage and strengthen me. This weekend has given me hope for the first time in a very long time. – Todd

What I learned this weekend has changed my life in a profound way. Until this weekend I didn’t understand what my addiction had done to the woman I love the most and how it had affected me. My heart was so full of shame, anger and guilt that I was blind to the cycle I had created and had convinced myself that there was no hope. This program saved me from myself. And I could feel the Holy Spirit healing my wounds and the pain I had from them. My heart has been restored. Finally, I can be the man and husband that God created me to be. – Mark G.

I have been searching for answers for 35 years. Until this weekend, I’d never gotten my questions answered. I had never been in an environment in which I felt safe enough to open my heart, but it happened this weekend! I had honest relationships this weekend for the first time in 35 years. The weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders! I have a lot of work to do, but without this weight of hiding who I was, the work is possible, even attractive. Thank you Jason. Thank you Joseph. Thank you to my brothers in my break-out group. – Todd

I came here as a pastor hoping to start a ministry in my community to help and serve men in our community, but not wanting to deal with my own sexual sin. During the first session one of the men pointed at me and said “Hey, I know you.” That scared me and immediately I knew I had to come clean and uncloak my sin and sexual impurity. During this weekend, I have bonded with my brothers, confessed my sins, and told my story. It was pointed out that I was not being personal about my conversation but was hiding in anonymity. I also had to deal with my impatience with the process of my healing. It was extremely liberating to be told I did not have to wear my pastor’s mask and did not have to be perfect and maintain my pastor’s aura of invincibility. – Mark

Before the EMB workshop I was lonely, sad, and empty. I kept everyone at a distance, not allowing anyone to get close to me again. I did not want to feel anything ever. I practiced pornography and masturbation. It hurts to even write down the words, but I am done hiding and running from God and from others. Last night I repented and worshipped God. I mean, I really talked to my heavenly Father and He revealed scripture verse after verse washing over me until I felt His love, forgiveness, acceptance, and that He is proud of me because I am His son and have been made new by the blood of Jesus. Yes my sin still hurts, I have regrets and scars. I can go from this event with tools I have never had. Tools and weapons to go to battle. I am preparing for the battle that is to come, but the difference this time is that I am not alone. I have comrades-brothers in arms. – Jamin

This workshop was far more valuable than I expected. The teaching was fantastic, but the real wealth came in the personalization of the small group sessions led by no “bs” counselors. The interactions with fellow participants was raw, exposed, and to the point. The direction applied by my counselor, Joseph, was precise, spirit-led surgery, cutting away lies and pretense. – Daniel

Wow! I truly had no idea what to expect when I came here. Was it going to be Bible thumping? Who was going to be here? Would I fit in? I guess I had a “nervous excitement.” After less than 48 hours I don’t know why I was nervous. I am surrounded by brothers seeking the same thing!!! The biggest nugget I am taking home is not how to stop, but why I did these things. It is the “why” that will help my spouse to better understand me, us, and to know if she can take the journey with me. And a huge THANK YOU to Jason & Shelley for sharing their story. I pray that my future marriage can be one that is able to help others grow and learn. – Nathan

I came to EMB skeptical. I wasn’t married and having affairs, and didn’t see the consequences of my sexually impure actions. As the weekend progressed, I learned how shame restricts intimacy. In that moment of understanding, I knew I had to restore true intimacy between myself and God in order to have a hope-filled future and to be intimate with my future wife. Although I was raised in a strict, Christian family, I had never prayed to accept Christ until last night. I can say with pride that my biggest breakthrough this weekend has been committing my life to God, and in doing so, finding 60 brothers who I know fight this battle with me. I’d like to thank my break-out group for making themselves so vulnerable, and Bob Damrau for being a leader who genuinely cares about my well-being. – Nathan

This weekend has been a long and exhausting battle. I arrived here carrying a huge weight. I did not know what to expect and wondered where and if my story would fit it in. As I sat in the first session and began hearing the other guys’ stories, I started to feel hope for the first time. As the weekend progressed, I began to unpack, pound by pound, my shame and guilt. For the first time in 37 years I was surrounded by guys who both accept and understand me. I also gained insight into my addiction. My hope was growing! As I prepare to leave here, I have a vision of what my life can be and a hope that my intimacy with my wife and my God can and will be restored. I also have found a band of brothers that I can lean on. Praise the Lord! – Mark

I have never felt so humbled yet so confident in my future with Jesus. I came to EMB on Friday morning as a truly broken man, crying out for God. God revealed His perfect plan to break me on Thursday night only to lift me up in the next 48 hours. I am not yet sure what will become of my marriage, particularly with the thought of full disclosure as there’s a lot more in my past than I even remembered this weekend. However, I feel equipped with knowledge to withstand my addiction, tools to fight the enemy in this battle, brothers to call on in times of attack, and faith to face any challenge with the support of Christ. This workshop has been 48 hours of intense learning, remembering, processing, and pain-intense pain and sorrow. But all of it has led me to a deep connection to Jesus, and for that I am eternally grateful. – John

My wife “recommended” that I read “Worthy of Her Trust” during our separation. I also purchased Every Man’s Battle and became interested in the EMB workshop. After calling about the workshop, I sent her a text to say I had requested information. To this point, my texts and emails had gone without a response, but this text, she immediate replied, “Oh my goodness. I was going to ask you to go to EMB at our next counseling appointment. If you even hesitated, I was going to walk out.” I am confident that the books and the EMB workshop have given me and my wife the tools to rebuild trust and our marriage. Thank you New Life! – Dave

God started the EMB workshop for me. I have learned more about myself, marriage, and my wife this weekend then I have my entire life. I finally feel like I can live a shame free life for the first time since my wife found out about my addiction. If I continue to act out after learning the things that I have learned this weekend, then I truly do not deserve to be with my wife. This EMB workshop has helped me to see both my marriage and my wife in a whole different and better light. – Corey

My wife and I were on the verge of divorce and I was in the middle of an affair. Prior to coming to EMB my wife and I reconciled. However, I came to this EMB workshop not knowing what to expect. That being said, EMB opened up a host of internal emotions that I had kept suppressed for years. I will be going home with some anxiety and excitement today to share with my wife what I learned about myself. I look forward to moving forward a changed man. – Brian

The Lord is good. He was kind enough to “out me” and then immediately overwhelm me with love. Part of this love was manifested through reading EMB and attending the EMB Workshop. My fears quickly diminished after the first session. From that point on, it was obvious that God had plans that extended far beyond this addiction. This was about changing who I had become. I am equipped to do this after attending this workshop. My hope and intent is to finish what the Lord has started. I am not confident in myself, but I am confident in my Savior. The Lord is kind. The Lord is good. – Jordan

One of the biggest values of this EMB workshop for me was just the opportunity to finally, finally be able to talk about my experiences in an atmosphere of sympathetic guys who understand and who are not judging or condemning me. The materials and teaching in the meetings were extremely helpful and valuable, but the times in our break-out groups were even better and even more helpful. And it was that atmosphere of love and acceptance that made me receptive to everything I was seeing, hearing, and learning this weekend. – Brad

I truly believe that this workshop is something that every man should participate in. The blessings that were poured into me this weekend are innumerable. As a church leader, there are not many times when I am on the receiving end of in-depth teaching and counseling. These sessions helped me come to terms with issues beyond pornography and masturbation. The healing process will be long, but I now have hope. I look forward to the journey I will continue with my band of brothers. Most of all, I am thankful for the reminder of how God sees me, a beloved son, washed spotless in the blood of the lamb. Thank you Jesus! – Cory

I GET IT! I understand what it is NOT: It is not blame, shame, or loneliness. It is recognizing the cost. It is knowing that I have caused pain to those who love me. It is owning my transgressions, and bearing the pain. It is knowing that hard work will be required, and doing it. It is being aware of and using tools necessary to overcome. It is knowing that I cannot heal alone. It is knowing that I am not alone and that I need relationship. It is intimacy with my brothers and my wife. It is knowing that the blood of Jesus has been shed for my sins. It is knowing that I am valued and loved! I know it is my responsibility to grow, to use tools, people, and God for my strength! I GET IT! – Brian

From the day my wife told me to leave my home, I have been walking by faith. Asking God to show me His plan was easy, but waiting patiently was the hardest part. As I waited, God led to my church bookstore and placed in my hands a copy of “Every Man’s Battle.” Even then, God waited and so I read the book and found the EMB workshop. At EMB, God introduced me to leaders, resources, my herd, and His plan for my life. I have found God’s plan for me at EMB.  Footnote: My wife registered for Women in the Battle. . . more to come. – Michael

I came to the workshop very hesitantly and doubtful. Sunday I had to text my wife and all I put was “Worth the money!” I told my sons where I was going for the weekend and why and was scared to death to reveal who their dad had become. During the weekend I received text messages from my sons supporting me and telling they love me! – Steve

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